The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera - a neo-B-movie. All of the elements of a classic b-movie refined and boiled down into pure crystallized b-movie crack. Complete with great one liners and a monster wearing sneakers. Fun stuff!
Post by UncleJager on May 23, 2006 11:01:00 GMT -5
My Maxim also has an article on gore flix. Apperantly Cannible Holocaust was the original Blair Witch, except it was gore instead of spooky. The director was taken to court and had to prove that he did not impail a woman in the film. Now that is goretastic!!!!!
Night of the Blood Beast (1958) - A very good plot idea that isn't used to its full potential. Along with the plotline that wasn't exploited to its best, it also features not much Night nor much Blood Beast, though there is one interesting death in, but only one unfortunately. Modern times could take this film to all kinds of new levels. Question though: Story writer (and I think director perhaps) is Gene Corman. Any relation to Roger Corman of B-Movie fame??
Pieces (1983): Don't bother. Acting so blaand it's hardly amusing, a plot that moves about as quickly as my brain cells right now. On the plus side: the death scenes make up for their cheapness by adding more splatter (no gore, just splatter) and the first death scene is within 60 seconds of the film's beginning. The random ball scrunch at the end makes no sense.
On to a film with a little more meat to it:
The House by the Cemetary (1982): We all know I adore Italian giallo cinema, and Fulci is a master. This isn't his masterpiece thoguh. It has the typical dull plot that usually comes with these maggot-feasts, though there is a ffew interesting notes here and there. It starts with an unrelated death scene at the beginning, appearing exclusively to provide the sole and required topless scene common to giallo. The ending made some sense until the quote was displayed, probably to add some intelligent element to the fillm, but instead shoots the ending all to hell. Some nice deaths in here, but not nearly as much maggots and gore typical of Fulci (must have been between paychecks when he made it). I liked the angle pursued with Dr. Freudstein's innocence and homicidal tendencies, even if he did look like a baked sock-puppet. It passed the time, but not as well as Gates of Hell did.
I picked these two films randomly, but they had a common element: two girls (both may have been blonde even), one in each these filmsm died with a big cheesy knife through the back of the head which protruded from the mouth. What a coinky-dink! Two films with multiple various types of deaths from two very different directors and genres, and two people die in exactly the same fashion. That's deep, man.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) I am not sure what the 'holocaust' part of this film was. This was a very controversial film in its’ day and still is. Being banned in over 16 countries when it originally came out. It is still not allowed to be shown in Britain, and even possession of it is crime punishable by jail. The controversy of this film focuses on two facts many countries view this film as a ‘smut’ film and also because the film breaks modern animal cruelty laws in most developed countries. The DVD also contains an alternate version of the film that has the animal cruelty edited out. If you are interested in more of the history of this film there is an extensive write up about it on imdb.com. I was drawn to this film because of a conversation I had with one of my teachers and friend at SCAD. Prof. Allesandro wrote his doctorate on British film censorship and the underground culture that has grown out of it. In a conversation I had with him he mentioned that he had come across this film when it was released by Grindhouse Productions, and watched it because of the controversy surrounding it. He told me that he has tried to find this film in the past when he was writing his doctorate but could not, he said it was one of the few films on the British censorship list that was truly not circulated in Britain or Europe for that matter. There were highly re-edited versions floating around but they were still rare. At the end of our conversation he admitted that this was one of the few films that he understood why it was censored. Not long after this I was an add in a metal magazine advertising the ‘wide’ American dvd release. I have to say that for something from Grindhouse this was a well put together package. It is a 2 dvd set and there are hours of extra interviews and all sorts of galleries and such. Some of the photo galleries even contain shots that were edited out of the original and no longer exist in film format. The disc also contained a rather pointless music video by Necrophagia, a grind core side project of ex-Pantera front man Phil Anselmo. If I remember correctly Phil has a personal connection to Grindhouse and probably was part of brining this film to us, and hence his music video. There was also a selection of newspaper clippings about the film. Apparently the original Italian distributor was jailed for several years because he circulated the film in Italy. The film: It began with a lengthy disclaimer from Grindhouse Productions and then cut into a helicopter shot of the Amazon basin with music that was bordering on beautiful. The music was a very interesting choice for this film, sometimes it was 80’s synth but at other points some of which are highly brutal it turns into a happy go lucky tune that was almost Disney. It was a very striking contrast. After the initial disclaimer I was anticipating something very unpleasant. But in the end I got through it fine. Funny how modern special effects gore desensitizes you, when you see something more realistic you think ‘ha how tame!” It was only when I started thinking “wait the minute what the hell am I watching?” In the end I don’t really think that this is a gore film as it really has a solid plot and in many ways makes you think. I cannot get into the true depth of this film without revealing some of the plot. But I can say that I feel it is more about what Western society considers civilized, and also what do we really know that what a film maker presents us as truth is really the truth. In the end it is all about the Dollar and fame. My only real gripe about the film was that some of the natives seemed to have been told ‘go act primitive’ if I was a skilled warrior I would notice someone hiding in the bushes 3 ft away.
Post by UncleJager on Sept 3, 2006 19:30:54 GMT -5
Drunken Master I read somewhere that this was supposed to be a very visualy impressive kung Fu movie. To me it was about as good as most Jakie Chan movie, in no way his best. It was amusing to see him very young but beside that... The look of most of the characters was on the level of the Wu Tang kung Fu flix, and the action seemed too slow. I felt like I could really tell the coriography instead of it being a wacky fight. Maybe if it was up to the spead of modern fighting films it would have been way more impresive. I don't know if this was unique to my disc of the film, but the dialogue would change without warning from Chinese to English and back to Chinese, making the movie that much more goofy. Something to watch if you are in the mood, but nothing to actively seek out. [/color]
I watched Meet The Feebles last night, I was kinda disappointed. From what I had seen before I thought the entire film was going to be like the last 20 minutes. I was wanting nasty muppets running around shooting up the place.
Post by UncleJager on Oct 30, 2006 15:40:47 GMT -5
Undead A campy zombie movie with aliens. Small Aussi town gets zombiefied by mysterious meteorshower. Sounds simple enough, but no! There is outer worldly mystery and teleportation, as well as ravonous zombie fish! And for a limited time only, nude aliens!!!!! From the cover this looks like your typical stylized zombie flick. But in reality this movie has more in common with 60's zombies then 28 Days Later. There are all sorts of twists and turns that make no sense as well as great b-class acting. I have a feeling the plot was not tottaly fleshed out when some of the early scenes were writen. As usual zombies die if the brain is too damaged. Yet there are several zombies with massive head damage walking around early on. Have an evening to kill and you don't know if you want something wacky or something gorey, then watch this.
Lady Frankenstein, 1972: Dr. Frankie's daughter carries on the family business. The first creature created is this hydrocephalic putty-headed thing with a googly eye that is kind of funny, while the second creation is a pure brain transplant that has interesting possibilities, most of which aren't pursued. Kind of tedious, a few entertaining characters (I liked the loan shark), and the daughter is easy on the eyes if she would only stop going on about herself.
The Thirsty Dead, 1975: No One's DEAD!!!! That's the biggest flaw with this film. Four chicks are kidnapped by a cult of people clad in easter-egg pastel tunics that seem to think they're immortal. The star of the film was obviously hired for her looks, but she's trying really hard to act, so she EE-NUNCE-EE-ATES very deliberately, and her actions/facial expressions are also entertainingly deliberate. A craptastic film, even by my standards.
I don't think I ever mentioned Messiah of Evil, 1974. This film has a strange pace to it, and the story is a bit wierd. If you could splice the interesting bits together and kill the excessive dialogue, it'd be a good film. The sets were strange. A town of people suddenly becomes very hungry for human flesh, but they're not undead. Just hungry. A couple of drifters and a goody-two-shoes daughter get stuck in this town and get picked off one by one, including the annoying girl that you REALLY hope gets killed. Her death was the most interesting - she went to go see a movie and the town's inhabitants enter the theatre, one... by one.. and take a seat. After a while the theatre is full, and she's disposed of. It was kind of a cool idea. The biggest complaint I have about this film is that the hyped-up Messiah, when he finally comes, seems to be a Mennonite trudging out of the ocean. Big whoop.
BloodRayne Techinically this should be under A movies- but this doesn't even rank to C or D Movies. For Big name actors- it was a disaster. The acting was horrible, the script was like reading a 10 year olds fan fiction and even the gore was horrid. And the story line jumped so it was horrible to keep up with. I want my two hours of my life I wasted back. Ugghh...
Dark Helmet: "You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it."
Please Don't Eat My Mother Let me start by stating that I thought that this was a different film when I had put it on my Netflix list. This was a shameless rip off of Little Shop Of Horrors, actualy make that the other way around. Best way to sum up this film is to say: 70s HBO softcore porn, cut together with 40+yr old Meditaranian Milhouse Van Howten and giant sculpty plants. The nudity served absolutly no purpose, except to illustrate the fact that the main character was a peeping Tom. However even though he came to peep days apart the action always took up from where it left off the last time. The plot was ridiculous and I think that for part of the dialogue the mic for the voice of the plant was not turned on, cause she sounded like she was yelling across some cans connected by string.
Post by UncleJager on Jan 23, 2007 17:02:35 GMT -5
cannibal ferox I am not sure what a 'ferox' is but they worked it into the dialog of the movie. This is the story of 3 NYC peeps who decide to take a vaccation in the Amazon because one of them, Gloria is writting her doctorate on how cannibalism is an invention of the whiteman to degrade the native people of S. America. In there search for a village that was mentioned in an article about cannibalism they come across 2 chinless coke-fiends who also happen to be from NYC. Ofcourse the shit hits the fan and people die. Ohh yes and there is supposed to be a morral message at the end. I think this film was riding the wave of controversy made by Cannibal Holocaust. Not only did they both have similar looking natives they also borrowed many of the animal killing ideas for this film. Howeve, the plot, acting, dialogue and message of this film was much weaker in this film. The actors were about as convincing as spanish soapopera stars, made even worse by dialogue that was obviously not recorded with the film and then synced up (badly) later. THus u got the whole B-movie experiance here. Eventhough this movie was much less graphic then Cannibal Holocaust it still got the same long winded warning. Overall, dissapointing. Here are my favorite inconsistancies: -everyones clothes was very clean, except towards the end, when everybody was rolling around in mud. -one of the characters was very lively for someone who had his unit chopped off te day before and cautarised. -there was several moments of blatant racism in the film, most notably the scene of a black police officer who talked like he was straight from the plantation and somehow could not spell the name of a town even though he had been teletexting them for the past 3 days. -apperantly the NYC police had a huge budget that year and nothing to do, cause the detective goes all the way to Paraguy to find a simple drug dealer. -being a cannibal means you rip people/animals open and eat the insides raw...
I am not sure if this movie was ment to be taken seriously, but I can't see how. Slither, a horror movie of sorts about an space being who manifests itself as a parasite/slug and after devouring the resources of a planet it moves on. heard this idea before? Anyways, the slug infacts/enters a very unlikable man and he starts hording meat from the groccery stores before he goes out and infacts others. Starting with one of his ex-lovers whom he turns into a 'womb' for more worm/slugs. These go forth and infact the entire town. All good up till now, but the movie really runs out of steam here. They had one good idea, all the infacted people share a conciousnes with the main slug-man, but the film makers wasted this idea by only having the infacted speaking in unison. Apperantly even though they all knew what the other saw the good guys were able to easily follow them back to the leader's layer. I was going for something cheesy and stupid when I rented it but I was hoping for a little more thought put into the plot. Ohh well,at least it wasn't a Blades of Glory, so I can't complain.