|
Post by Alan Fuckin' Alda on Jan 25, 2006 15:15:11 GMT -5
'On [the robot's] world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.' 'Odd,' said Arthur, 'I thought you said it was a democracy.' 'I did,' said Ford, 'It is.' 'So,' said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, 'why don't the people get rid of the lizards?' 'It honestly doesn't occur to them,' said Ford. 'They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.' 'You mean they actually vote for the lizards?' 'Oh yes,' said Ford with a shrug, 'of course.' 'But,' said Arthur, going for the big one again, 'why?' 'Because if they didn't vote for a lizard,' said Ford, 'the wrong lizard might get in'
|
|
|
Post by UncleJager on Jan 25, 2006 16:33:10 GMT -5
It is true
|
|
|
Post by Alan Fuckin' Alda on Apr 13, 2006 7:20:51 GMT -5
|
|
Kratos
Canonised Regular Joe
Posts: 166
|
Post by Kratos on Aug 23, 2006 11:34:02 GMT -5
i'd just like to say YAY! THIS IS MY 100TH POST! I'M FINALLY GOING TO BE SHOT FROM A CANNON! THREE STARS!
|
|
|
Post by Alan Fuckin' Alda on Aug 23, 2006 13:43:40 GMT -5
HA HA, this is my 300TH!!! I win the thread and teh intranet
|
|
|
Post by T. Miller on Nov 15, 2006 18:49:20 GMT -5
This has nothing to do with anything, but it's a new topic, so there!
What would the consequences of cloning Christ from residue found on the Crown of Thorns be? Would Armageddon commence since technically, Christ would have risen again? Would something go horribly wrong with the genetics and some strange concoction of flesh and blood in a shapeless quivering but coherent (but may or may not be intelligent) mass? Would Armageddon still begin? Would a dumb mass cloned from his genes still qualify as "Christ" for Armageddonary purposes? Please discuss - I'm wanting to know!
|
|
LEGION
Canonised Regular Joe
Posts: 189
|
Post by LEGION on Nov 15, 2006 22:32:01 GMT -5
Someones been into the cooking sherry again.......
|
|
|
Post by Alan Fuckin' Alda on Nov 16, 2006 10:30:51 GMT -5
This has nothing to do with anything, but it's a new topic, so there! What would the consequences of cloning Christ from residue found on the Crown of Thorns be? Would Armageddon commence since technically, Christ would have risen again? Would something go horribly wrong with the genetics and some strange concoction of flesh and blood in a shapeless quivering but coherent (but may or may not be intelligent) mass? Would Armageddon still begin? Would a dumb mass cloned from his genes still qualify as "Christ" for Armageddonary purposes? Please discuss - I'm wanting to know! Ok, assuming you could extract DNA from 2000 year old dried blood on a thorn crown that somehow never decomposed in all that time... First off, once the fundie types who believe all this realize that Jesus isn't white, but is infact, brown and incredibly middle eastern looking, they will commit suicide in large numbers. This is what they call "The Rapture," but what everyone else will call "Finally Getting Rid of Those Assholes." Now the thing that no one realized is that Jesus actually had superpowers. To be specific, he is quite adept at undressing people with his eyes. Literally. These powers will lead Neo-Jesus down many dark roads: Roman style orgies, multiple near overdoses, appreciation of cats, anorexia, and a brief career in alt-porn. Neo-Jesus will later describe these as "youthful indiscretions." Once the allure of fame wears off, Neo-Jesus will enter his dark, moody, reflective period involving a myspace page and black and white photography. During this period he will often be heard quoting Nietzsche, Kafka, and Poe. In his early 30s, Neo-Jesus will start forming his posse: The Neo-Jesus All Star Review. After his initial pimp-like stylings fail with the public, he will adopt a more laid-back approach. But don't let the new easy going Neo-Jesus fool you. He can still lay down a mighty smiting with the best of them. Once Alan Alda revels himself to be the Anti-Neo-Jesus-Christ, Neo-Jesus will pull out the big guns. A cage match will ensue between the forces of Dark and Light, with Neo-Jesus barely winning, only to have Dark Lord Alda land a sucker punch while Neo-Jesus is celebrating. Unfortunately, Clint Eastwood was placing a stool for Neo-Jesus to rest on and Neo-Jesus falls on the stool and ends up destroying his spinal cord in the process. Wishing that he actually had healing powers, Neo-Jesus just ends up undressing all the nurses who attempt to care for him. He will try unsuccessfully to lobby Congress to fund stem cell research, confining Neo-Jesus to a bed for the rest of his days. He dies at age 85. It seems as likely as anything in the Book of Revelations.
|
|
Kratos
Canonised Regular Joe
Posts: 166
|
Post by Kratos on Nov 16, 2006 22:40:37 GMT -5
but consider this: the japanese have nearly mastered cybernetics. so lets back track to where Neo-jebus snaps his spinal cord.
After becoming paralized due to a sucker punch after the fight has concluded anti-neo-jebus will lobby congress for stem cell research and be shot down in his attempts. loosing hope and will start the slow process of death in his hospital bed. but before all hope is lost, unbeknown to him, neo-mathew in japan will see his story and take pity on the newest media chavez. he flys to visit neo-jebus and gets him to take the opperation to use cybernetics to replace his now usless body parts. the opperation will be a success. upon his recovery he will seek vengance on the anti-neo-jebus and kill him in his one bedroom appartment by bludgoning him to death with the tv tray that was holding the anti-neo-jebus' dinner. by doing so he will have successfully destroyed all neo-evil in the world forcing the real anti-christ to rear his head and defeat the neo-jebus in time square in a death match for the appocolypse. however jebus himself will decend from the heavens and finish the fight in a glorious battle with his magical rainbow of godly terror. this will ensue the appocolypse in an instant and end all that we life and existence as we know it. therefor, it will not take 85 years.
|
|
|
Post by Alan Fuckin' Alda on Nov 17, 2006 9:48:13 GMT -5
Magical rainbow of godly terror? ;D That's brilliant. Leave to Neo-Jebus to go for the ironic kill. Also brilliant is taking out Anti-Neo-Jebus with his own dinner tray. That is teh lollzer. + = teh pwnd
|
|